Why Singers Compare Themselves to Others
We as singers, who are taking the development of our voices seriously and whether we sing for personal or professional reasons, often compare ourselves to other singers. This is a normal thing to do, especially in the beginning stages, because we want a "yard stick" for ourselves to find out what is considered "good" and "not good". So when we hear someone sing extremely well, and we don't think we are at their level yet, sometimes or even oftentimes we feel an inner ping that we are somehow not good enough because we just don't sound like she does.
How Social Media Makes Singers Feel Insecure
Nowhere is this more prevalent than on social media. Instagram reels flood our feeds daily, especially when we follow the accounts that we like, where people seem to have it all vocally and we admire and look up to them. But honestly, although there is nothing wrong with admiring someone else's voice, it does become wrong when we let it make ourselves feel bad about where we ourselves are at right now. And this can take away our own joy in singing and how we think and feel about our own voice.
How to Learn From Other Singers Instead of Feeling Bad
The trick to the whole thing is quite simple. The best thing to do is just to feel happy for the other singer, and appreciate their voice. And then decide that we want to somehow learn from it. We can pay attention to how they belt out their notes, how the vocal inflections sound during the song, how they can carry the tune or how they put emotion into the expression of the lyrics.
Then, we turn the tables around in our favor. We become students of theirs, in a sense, and just the act of appreciating their voice for what it is makes the whole negative feeling you have about your own voice disappear. You may find this hard to do, but try it. It is all about a shift in attitude, and one that should be practiced continuously, especially when the old pang of jealousy tries to chime in. So just let them teach you in a way that makes sense to you now, just by listening to them and observing them as well. Take a mental note about how you want your voice to grow as you do.
Why Every Singer Develops at a Different Pace
One thing that needs to be remembered is that we are all at different stages of vocal development. Yes, it seems that she may be vocally more polished than you right now, but that does not mean that you can't get there. You don't know what her story is behind the scenes, anyway, what she does to practice, how long she has been practicing, her own struggles and pains along the way.
How to Appreciate Your Voice While Improving It
And another thing, appreciate your voice as it is now, too. This does not mean that you give up on progressing, because if you just like your voice the way it is now, your mind and body will probably close the door on further development. The key is to appreciate while simultaneously learning to get better.
When you practice this, there is something special that happens. Your voice naturally begins to open up and there is a greater sense of fulfillment when you sing, because singing now becomes a joy and not a constant chore to get perfect. Lose all the little negatives along the way... all the "I'm not good enough" stuff, or the "I will never get there" garbage. Because when you entertain those thoughts long enough, you are effectively closing the door to yourself and your vocal development.
Why Mindset Matters in Singing Development
Mindset in singing is just as important as the practice itself. Because your mind will guide your voice in any way that it chooses. So be mindful as to what you have up there about yourself and your voice. Negativity is always a lie, because people have constantly come out of singing like "meh" to "is that really me?".
Self-belief during your vocal journey is something that needs to be consciously worked on. It does not always happen automatically, especially if you have a tendency to compare yourself negatively to others. And yes, there will absolutely be moments where you hear someone sing and think to yourself, "wow... I wish I sounded like that". But instead of allowing that thought to spiral into discouragement, learn to redirect it into inspiration instead.
Why Your Current Voice Is Not Your Final Voice
One of the biggest mistakes singers make is believing that their current voice is somehow their permanent voice. It is not. Your voice changes according to what you practice, what you learn, how comfortable you become, how emotionally open you allow yourself to be and how much consistent work you put into your vocal development over time. So if you hear someone sing beautifully today, it does not mean that you are doomed to stay exactly where you are now forever.
A lot of well-known vocal coaches speak about the importance of patience during vocal development because singing is not just about technique. There is muscle coordination involved. Breath coordination. Emotional expression. Confidence. Ear training. Resonance. Learning how to release tension. Learning how to trust yourself. All of these things gradually develop together. So when you compare yourself harshly to another singer, you are often comparing your beginning or middle stages to someone else's polished result.
Why Comparing Yourself on Social Media Is Harmful
And honestly, social media has made this problem so much worse for singers. We scroll through endless videos of people singing their absolute best moments. Perfect takes. Edited clips. Carefully selected performances. Highlight reels. Meanwhile, we are sitting there comparing that to ourselves during our practice sessions, vocal cracks, nervous moments and insecurities. It is not even a fair comparison to begin with.
Another thing that many singers forget is that some people have been singing consistently for years before posting online. Some have had lessons for a long time. Some practice several hours a day. Some naturally started out with certain vocal advantages. But that still does not mean that your voice cannot become something beautiful in its own right. It absolutely can.
How Negative Thinking Affects Your Singing Voice
The important thing is learning how to keep your mind working for you instead of against you during your vocal journey. Because your mindset affects your singing much more than people realize. If every practice session becomes filled with thoughts like "I'm terrible", "I'll never sound good", or "why can't I sound like her?", your body and voice begin responding to that negativity. The throat tightens. Fear enters the process. Singing starts feeling stressful instead of freeing.
This is one reason why so many vocal coaches encourage singers to sing with curiosity instead of judgment. Curiosity opens the door. Judgment slams it shut.
How to Build Self-Belief During Your Vocal Journey
So instead of listening to another singer and immediately feeling inferior, start observing differently. Listen to how they phrase words emotionally. Listen to their breath control. Listen to their dynamics. Listen to how relaxed they sound. Listen to how they express emotion in the lyrics. Learn from them instead of shrinking beneath them mentally.
And another thing: stop seeing other singers as proof that you are lacking. Start seeing them as proof of what is possible when a voice is developed over time.
That mental shift changes everything.
You also have to give yourself permission to be developing. Too many singers want themselves to sound amazing immediately, and if they do not, they become discouraged. But singing is a process. It is something that unfolds gradually. Even singers you admire probably had awkward stages, insecure stages, weak stages or moments where they questioned themselves too.
You simply did not see those parts.
Why Small Improvements Matter in Singing
Another thing that helps build self-belief is recognizing your own progress, even when it seems small. Maybe your tone sounds fuller now. Maybe your pitch improved. Maybe you can sing louder than before without fear. Maybe you finally sang in front of someone else. Maybe you are beginning to feel emotion in songs instead of just mechanically singing words. These things matter. A lot.
Progress in singing is not always dramatic overnight transformation. Often, it is subtle growth that compounds over time.
How to Have a Healthier Relationship With Your Voice
And honestly, your relationship with your voice matters too. If you constantly attack your own voice mentally, your singing journey will start feeling emotionally heavy. But if you learn to appreciate your voice while simultaneously working on improving it, the process becomes healthier and much more enjoyable.
That does not mean settling. It simply means respecting yourself where you are now while still remaining open to growth.
Because yes, it is possible to love your voice now while also wanting to make it better.
How Vocal Lessons Can Improve Singing Confidence
Another thing that builds self-belief is proving things to yourself little by little through experience. Every practice session where you show up matters. Every lesson matters. Every attempt matters. Every fear you push through matters. Confidence is not built through magical thinking. It is built through repeated experiences where you slowly realize, "wait... maybe I actually can do this."
And over time, those moments accumulate.
This is also where vocal instruction can become extremely helpful. A good vocal instructor does not just help train the voice technically. They often help singers hear possibilities in themselves that they could not hear before. Sometimes all it takes is one breakthrough moment during a lesson for a singer to realize that their voice is capable of much more than they originally believed.
But your mindset during lessons matters too. If feedback automatically becomes interpreted as failure, then your self-esteem will suffer unnecessarily. Instead, try approaching feedback with openness and curiosity. Your instructor is helping guide your voice forward, not attacking you personally.
And when improvements begin happening, acknowledge them internally. Celebrate them. Let yourself feel good about your progress instead of instantly moving the goalpost higher again.
That emotional encouragement toward yourself matters more than you think.
Why Your Voice Deserves a Chance to Grow
When we constantly think in terms of other singers being better than we are, even if they currently are, we begin internalizing the belief that we somehow can't get there too. But honestly, that inner "I can't" is a huge lie.
Instead, start doing the opposite, even if your mind does not fully agree with it yet. Just say to yourself, "I can." That small shift in attitude can begin changing how you approach your singing journey altogether if you truly put it into practice.
And honestly, if certain singers on social media consistently make you feel bad about yourself every time you hear them sing, it is perfectly okay to unfollow them for your own peace of mind. You do not need to keep exposing yourself to content that leaves you feeling jealous, discouraged or emotionally heavy afterward.
At the end of the day, there will always be singers who sound different from you. Some will sound more polished. Some will sound more experienced. Some may even naturally excel in areas that you currently struggle with. But none of that removes your own potential as a singer.
Your voice still deserves development.
Your voice still deserves patience.
Your voice still deserves encouragement.
And your voice still deserves a chance to grow.
So stop placing yourself beneath other singers. Admire them. Learn from them. Be inspired by them. But continue walking your own vocal path too. Because if you stay consistent, stay open-minded and continue believing in your ability to grow, one day someone else may very well listen to your voice and feel inspired too.
---------------
How I Can Help You
If this blog helped you out, and I am sure it did, I want to let you know that I created an online website called The Singing Journey which acts as a personal hub for beginner and intermediate singers who want to grow their voices while also developing a healthier mindset about themselves and their singing.
Inside the shop, you will find several easy-to-understand e-books on different singing and confidence topics, fun challenges that you can do from the comfort of your own home, inspirational posters to help keep your mindset positive during practice time, and a comprehensive vocal journal where you can track your goals, warmups, reflections, practice times and vocal progress along the way. It is an extremely helpful tool for singers who genuinely want to stay accountable and continue growing their voices over time.
So take a look around and see what resonates with you most right now during your own singing journey. And if you are not sure where to begin, I would personally recommend my comprehensive e-book, From Shy to Shine: A Beginner's Path to Singing Success, which was specifically created to help singers work through fear, self-doubt and confidence struggles while learning to open up their voices more freely.
Or if there is another specific issue that you are currently struggling with in your singing journey, you can also browse through my Singer's Toolkit collection filled with different e-books and challenges designed to help singers through various emotional and vocal struggles.
And if you are looking for something practical to help you stay motivated and organized during your practice sessions, be sure to check out my vocal journal as well.
I truly hope that you take the advice in this blog post to heart. It would honestly be sad to see a singer give up on her voice and dreams simply because she believed someone else was already living them better.
Your voice deserves its own chance to grow too.
💜 Stella Jasmin
Motivational Singing Coach and Founder of The Singing Journey